I haven't blogged much lately not that I blog FOR anyone. I write for myself, this is supposed to be my outlet. However there are things in my life I don't want out there for the entire world to see.   Some things I need to think about and decide how much I want available for the world to see.  
We are a very happy family.  I have this teenager son, he's as rebellious as they come.  He doesn't show it in normal ways, he isn't a normal kid.  He's been through so much in his short life so why would I expect his rebellion to show up in normal ways?    Me, being the awesome incredible mom that I am.   I've been worried sick, thinking my kid is lonely and no one will be his friend and somehow I'm not describing this very well. He goes to a boarding school because it's the best thing for him.  He's blind and our local school district was just giving him A's and not making him do the work.  He needed a school that would at the very least make him try to earn his grades, so he attends the closest school for the blind and visually impaired.  Anyway, now that I have rambled for way to long.  Recently I went to the school for a day to watch him compete in a regional 10 state wrestling tournament.   My kid, often described by those who love him (seriously) as being insolent, sullen, personality of soggy bread, a sloth, lazy.   Yes, that kid stepped up to the plate, listened to Coach and took 2nd place in his weight division!!! Shocked every single one of us.  Absolutely amazing.  Every minute leading up to the match he was sullen, insolent, didn't want to talk to anyone.  Isolated himself, head in his hands. I sat in the stands worrying.  Thinking I needed to bring him home but wondering how it would be any better at home surrounded by sighted kids who would make fun of him.  Kids that are driving and dating, playing football, sports that aren't geared for him to compete when at his school he is dating when he wants to, has friends, he is on the track, wrestling, the rowing teams, a representative of the FBLA team and more.  All of a sudden it hit me. The isolation, the sulleness, the blah... that's his acting out.  His rebellion.  His sisters is the bright clothes, the short shorts, the screamo music, etc.      He has chosen country music (OMG I hate it) boring ASS clothes, stupid hiking boots (just like his dad) and to lose his personality.... this is his rebellion.  I'm not fighting him over it anymore.   Every teenager goes through this and they either come out of it or they don't but parents fighting them over it is not a deciding factor.   So this week, I checked in with his teachers and his dorm parents just like I always do.  I didn't like what I heard anymore than I ever do.  However, when I called him, I asked him about the 2 weeks worth of English homework he owed his teacher, he got defensive.  I told him to stop, told him he wasn't in trouble, I just knew he has a full weekend this weekend with a tournament and homecoming so I wanted to know if he had a plan to get it done.  He said not "competition worthy essays but yes I will turn in something"  I told him it didn't need to be competition worthy, just "not get yelled at by the teacher and complete".  He agreed to do that.   I thanked him for having a plan and we got off the phone. 

I felt better that we had at least discussed it, hopefully he felt better that he didn't get in trouble. 

This mothering stuff is tough!

1 comment:

  1. One time, a wise friend of mine with great kids told me the secret is to see your children for who they really are and cater your parenting to each child, letting them know you find them worthy through the thick and the thin. I didn't get it at the time because my kids were small and their biggest problems were potty training at the time. Now, I see. You're doing that very same thing for your son. How awesome.

    And booyah on the wrestling! I come from wrestling country. My brothers were on the high school wrestling team that held a world record winning streak. Seriously, they seem to grow wrestlers from flower pots around here. My brothers all did well, one of them was even state champ for his weight class. They have all said at one time or another that wrestling helped them through those years. And trust me, my brothers acted out BIG TIME.